This time, I am Patient Zero.

Thursday morning at work I experienced a laughably swift deterioration.  

8:00 - Hey, my throat hurts.  Wonder where that came from?

8:30 - Oh, great, now my glands are swollen.  Weird.

9:00 - My head is killing me.  Does anyone have any Advil?

9:30 - Uggghhhhh my whole bodyyyyy hurtttssss ugghhhhhhmmmm

10:00 - This is a joke, right?  I don't even know anybody that's sick*!   

10:30 - slumps over desk

I left work a few minutes early and kind-of cried all the way home, I just felt so bad.  Ross arranged for his mom to come over to watch the kids so I could see a doctor.  I think I slept until she showed up?  I don't know, I was pretty out-of-it.  

As a rule, I dislike Patient First and avoid going there whenever possible.  But there's one less than a mile from our house, and I couldn't get an appointment with our family doctor on such short notice.  So I went to the dread Patient First, where they confirmed I was running a fever, I tested negative for strep and mono (whew), and they pointed to some numbers on my bloodwork that allegedly indicated I was fighting off a bacterial infection of some type.  

"My ears hurt.  How do they look?  Could it be an ear infection?"  

Your bloodwork indicates an infection.

"What about my throat?"

It's red and swollen.

Got it.  Non-committal General Above-the-Shoulders Infection.  They gave me a prescription for antibiotics, a note to stay home from work for the rest of the week, and an informative slip on tonsillitis, which I don't officially have... or do I??

Thankfully, my mother-in-law took the boys for a sleepover that night.  Ross works late on Thursdays, but I was able to keep EV (at a safe distance) and get her down to sleep by myself.  Then I spent the next 24 hours in a haze of pain and misery.  I slept in Friday, lazed miserably on the couch all afternoon, then went to bed before 7 p.m. and stayed there for 12 hours.   

I cannot remember the last time I felt so horrible.  I had pneumonia just before Ross and I got married, and that was especially torturous because I couldn't breathe.  Oh, and I got mastitis a few weeks after Silas was born, and I actually thought I was dying that time**.  So let's just say, this has been the worst I've felt in recent memory.  

The fever keeps sneaking up on me when I least expect it.  I'm pretty sure I'm dehydrated, so I'm drinking lots of water.  If I stay on top of my Advil intake (every 4 hours) my baseline is "still in terrible pain, but not totally delusional."  Last night was bad, but better than the night before.  Hopefully the worst is over.

This is nonsense.  Moms shouldn't be allowed to get sick.

Of course, I'm worried about the kids.  Leading up to Thursday morning, because I hadn't even the vaguest hint of ill feelings, I was hugging and kissing on them like I always do.  Which is a lot.  When the kids get sick, it's an epic chain of horrible.  Nobody sleeps, we miss work and school, we spend a billion dollars on co-pays and prescriptions, everybody gets new toothbrushes.  Repeat. 

I want to know how other families handle this sort of thing.  I know 'tis the season for sickness and gross, and both of our boys attend public school now, making occasional illness unavoidable, but I still feel like I could be doing something more to prevent this cycle from happening as frequently.

 

*Now you know somebody that's sick.  It's ME.  If you get sick in the next couple of days, it's probably my fault.  Heck, you probably got sick just by reading this.  Sorry.

**Spoiler alert: I didn't die.  But a fever in excess of 103 will make you think you've crossed over!